Bounty Select-A-Size Paper Towels

Has my life gotten so bad that I'm reviewing paper towels? Seriously? The answer, obviously, is "yes."

We all use paper towels, and we've all tried a million different brands. As a result, this exercise feels ludicrous.

Bounty paper towels. There, I've said it. Bounty paper towels are the best, and it's not close.

The post is complete, right? Wrong.

I'm not going to disparage other brands of paper towels, but I am going to give you some strategies on buying and using Bounty paper towels because they're so damned expensive.

Buy the Select-A-Size rolls. Unless you wash windows for a living, do not buy the full-size rolls. The Select-A-Size rolls are more expensive than the full-size rolls, that's true, but you will save money.

A lot of us grab a paper towel to dry our hands after washing them in the kitchen sink. Some of us wash our hands in the kitchen sink dozens of times a day. For those uses, a half-size sheet of paper towel is all you need.

That's the most important use case of the Select-A-Size. Instead of grabbing twenty-four full-size paper towel sheets a day, you'll grab the equivalent of twelve full-size paper towel sheets per day. Those little messes, too, when you live with little kids, as I do, help to save paper towels as the day wears on and the messes pile up.

Buy the Bounty Select-A-Size rolls in bulk. I know that the idea of spending almost $50 on paper towels seems insane, but spending more, on a per-unit basis, by buying paper towels as they're needed seems even more insane. The idea may be intuitive to a lot of us, that's true, but the process of grabbing those unwieldy packages makes the task almost unbearable in its spiteful punishment of our attempted fiscal responsibility.

When she was alive, my mother loved Bounty paper towels, and she would spend the extra money for their quality.

I haven't tried Costco's Kirkland Signature brand paper towels, but I can take one look at a paper towel and judge its pliability and usefulness. I will say that HDX Paper Towels are comically bad, so stay away. I guess I've disparaged another brand, but honestly, I'm trying to protect you and your wallet.

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